Short Mannequin Exercise

by Jonah & Em

He was a man of no importance, but his androgynous desires attracted her to his beardly ways. Observe how the light from the street cars reflect into the shallow water puddles which have decorated these boulevards this August Saturday night.

All she could see was curly-q tendrils of beard & a full mouth of rusty teeth. (He had already had his Tetanus shot, so worry not.)

All he could muster forth was a frothy monologue...something about "free-thought," "the poetry in friendship," and other such shenanigans.

As the rain continued, all she could leave with him was simply a hint of mannequin.

Serenade-- A Very Old Poem

by Em

Like forbidden honeydew,
She, hair strew in violets,
danced with the shadows of the Moon
and her lover.

Forgotten love songs filled
the air as the silent breeze
whispered tainted harmonies
and serenaded the amorous trio.

Fury stood on one side,
Hatred on the other,
but the three knew naught of them
for they laughed out loud with one another.

Oh How I Miss Those Misty-Eyed Meyers

by Em

(An ode to a family of three)

Shall I compare thee and thee and thee to a Spring day in Greensboro?
Thou and thou and thou art more fair with lots of hair (some of it beardly).
What, oh what, could possibly keep me away,
From a family who is good at fun and play?

The beach, the beach, that tedious beach,
It sucks away the Hammons
Like an overgrown leach.
(Anyone have some bleach?)

Oh we could not be less bemused
by a family who keeps us so amused;
We merely hope that you don't feel used,
And that this poem doesn't leave you confused.

GOTHIC DREAM

by Em
Gloved fingers reach for winter's gloom,
Outstretched arms beckoning the tomb;
Gothic love enchants
  no matter where nor whom,
Cemeteries cry out,
  "Come meet your doom!"

Love, Robot Style

by Em

Gary hated chores.  In fact, he hated them so much that his fellow droids thought he was bonkers.  His boss was none-too-thrilled about the situation.  Gary was routinely rebuked and threats to send him to the junkyard were bandied about quite frequently.  Nothing phased Gary.  Not when he was dancing.

Ellerbe wanted nothing more than to wash curtains.  She couldn't get enough of doing laundry, dusting, and vacuuming for the Hotel Roboto.  She was a five-star employee and constantly won bonuses every year.  Ellerbe was a superior droid and felt as comfortable in her nuts and bolts as a tire felt on the road.  She eschewed dilly-dallying and preferred working alone on quiet nights at the hotel.

One late night while working alone, Ellerbe stumbled over a pair of shiny black shoes lying aimlessly in the hallway.  She rolled closer to see what she had run over.  Ellerbe frowned and lifted one of the shoes by the laces to examine it closer.  Just as she got a good look at her reflection in the shoe, she heard a high-pitched *BEEP! HONK! SQUIRP!* from behind!

"What are you doing?"

Ellerbe turned to see a highly alarmed bot stomping toward her.

"Put that down!"  The large angry bot slapped her hand and she dropped the shoe.

"Hey, that was rude," she barked.

"I think not, Ladybot," Gary quipped.  "Those are my dancing shoes."

Ellerbe's eyes lit up a bright red and Gary took a step back.

"Ladybot?  How dare you, you old clunker!  I work hard to keep this place spotless and you junk it up with those useless clodhoppers!" 

She rolled over the shoes, but now she rolled over them on purpose.

"That is entirely uncalled for, Ladybot!"

Ellerbe rolled her robotic eyes.  "Who ever heard of a dancing robot?"  She grabbed her broom and was preparing to roll away when she heard loud techno music.  She turned to see Gary doing some break-dancing moves and noticed he was knocking over potted plants at the same time! 

"Now stop that!  Turn off that carnal music and clean this place up!" 

Gary turned off the music and stared at the overturned foliage before him.  He sighed loudly and turned away.   "Haven't you ever wanted to have fun?  To fall in love?  What better way to fall in love than to dance?"

"What do you mean?"  Ellerbe felt her bolts loosen a bit as she noticed Gary gazing at her from across the room.  As he reached for her, she dropped her duster and she drifted into his robotic arms.  He took the lead and they swayed smoothly through the room as Gary sang gently to her.  Ellerbe felt her robotic cares melt away and she rested her head on Gary's shoulder for just a fraction of a second.

Suddenly, the dance ended and Ellerbe found herself being gently released from Gary's embrace.  She stood for a moment with mouth agape.  Gary deftly picked up Ellerbe's duster and returned it to her.  She found herself smiling and feeling not quite like her old self.

 "Now, the next time you feel like doing that again, don't hesitate to let me know," Gary grinned.  As he hummed a happy tune, he helped Ellerbe clean up the plants that were still strewn about the hotel hallway.

"Say," she started, "do you mind helping me clean up the laundry room?" 

Gary just turned and said, "For you darling, anything."

Zombies Ain't The Best Roommates

by Em

Out, out, damn Zombie! I shrieked as the monster who used to be Joel trundled toward me.  His forehead oozed green goo.  I wondered from whence in the human body that verdant slime originated.  The face that formerly held both of Joel’s eyes stared at me blankly.

“Joel, we talked about this.  If we’re going to share this apartment, I need to have some space without you intruding all the time.”  As my zombie roommate trod off to our small living room to watch “Shaun of the Dead” (no doubt to pick up some pointers), I realized how hard this living arrangement would be. 

After all, ever since Joel had become a zombie, the pus from his body and dead skin were creating a mess around the apartment.  He had stopped showering and he was beginning to annoy me with his late night moaning and attempts to break into my room and eat my brain.   How many times had I changed the locks lately?

While walking to the bus stop together one morning, Joel was lagging behind.  His had a slow drag to his step these days and we had missed the bus a few times because of his staggering behind.  This morning we left early to be sure we arrived at the bus stop in time. 

When I turned to look behind me, Joel and five other zombie-types had gathered at a nearby stoop and appeared to be ogling me.  I suddenly felt vulnerable.  In fact, I kept a police baton in my bag (don’t ask!) for moments like these.  I remembered from my Zombie Defense Class that zombies are often more frightened of us than we are of them.  They usually only become interested in you if you’re moving away from them.

With that, I walked toward the group in an attempt to convince Joel to follow me to the bus stop.  Boy was that the wrong move!  The moment I tugged on Joel’s tattered brown jacket, chaos ensued.  All eyes were on me and suddenly all hands were coming toward me.  Even Joel sensed the excitement as his remaining brown eye stared into me and focused on my skull. 

As I turned to run, one of the possibly male zombies grabbed my arm.   His teeth came towards my flesh but  missed me as I kicked him in his non-existent groin.  Two possibly female zombies knocked me over and grabbed me by the hair.  I managed to push them away somehow.  As I stood again to run, Joel reached out for me, his mouth watering.  He had me in his clutches when, at that moment, the 7:10 bus to downtown Greensboro plowed right into him.  I’ve never heard a sound with more crunching noises and moaning!  As the bus passed and kept on going (thanks a lot!), I looked across the street to see the remains of Joel splattered all over the pavement.  Even his Doctor Who scarf had been crushed, though his eye was nowhere to be found. 

When the other zombies saw this, they each scuffled off in search of other brains to devour.  Maybe they each needed some comfort for awhile, or perhaps an easier target for dinner.  Whatever the reason, I never forgot Joel. I still get nostalgic when I see the 7:10 bus to downtown Greensboro run over other zombies that have recently taken to chasing me at the bus stop.  Even now, as I try to outrun yet another zombie, I get that warm fuzzy feeling inside.  I jump quickly to the other side of the road when I hear behind me---THUD!   Ah, memories.

spontaneous group napkin poem

(geeksboro coffeehouse cinema, jan. 2013)

1.

Liar panties

thankless

monster

son-of-a-gun

congregation

farted.

2.

silly

indubitably

slanderous

schvitz

gargantuan

hands

handing off

a cheeseball

to Beelzebub.

Trundling quickly

Nearby

Nuthin’, baby.

3.

once a

pawn

shoppe opened

whilst closing.

grandiosely

Ian bein’ pee-in

under

premise of promise.

gravid pregnant pause …

4.

The lady bearded

scatological truths.

Don’t say, stay.

Demonstrably

Monstrous.

Forget remembering,

remember nothing

or die. Why?

{by  jaymie, em, ian, & jonah}